Yawn.

Ok, seriously, I feel like I need to inject caffeine straight into my veins today. None of this through-the-digestive tract crap... takes way too long. Don't have that kind of time.
I have so much cleaning to do today. I woke up this morning and looked around.... how did I not notice what a humongous mess my house is before today? I think I noticed, maybe, just was totally apathetic to it? Whatever, now something must be done. Luckily, I've made a list of stuff I have to do in just such an emergency. Now, to find the ambition. What was my motivation again? I should force myself to have people over... that's about the only time my house gets cleaned.
It totally doesn't help that Luke follows behind everything I do, completely and systematically undoing it. Right now, for instance, he is unfolding every article of clothing I folded this morning but didn't get around to putting away yet. You'd think he could at LEAST put it all back in the basket... but no. It goes on the floor. This morning I swept first thing when I got up because he had poured pepper all over the floor. I guess I can't have a clean house until I don't have kids anymore. Which is a really, really long time from now. The fact that it will be dirty within an hour of me cleaning up is *SO* not motivating me to clean.
I'm not sure why I think that people care about reading four whole paragraphs about me not wanting to clean my house. I think I'm just wasting time... hopefully you have skipped over this whole thing....
Look, there are some quizzes from last night! I promise next time will be more interesting.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we're looking at another house on Saturday. Big, 4 bedrooms, huge huge yard (especially for town), cheaper than it should be. However, does need a bit of work. We'll see.. Tim is hopeful about it. It has big, white pillars and a balcony all along the front top floor! The pictures of inside the house, though... eh. Not so pretty.

Quizzical!

I am so bored, trying very hard not to sleep (why!?, you may ask in sheer shock and surprise... I am waiting for my man. {~26 dollars in my hand...~ ok no more Lou Reed for now.} It is late, I am tired, and couldn't possibly think of anything intelligent to say. So, I went searching for some quizzes, and found them! Here we go... you can thank sleep deprivation.


Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

This one says I sound more like a Cancer than a Gemini... interesting....


Discover your Zodiac Personality @ Quiz Me


discover your dog breed @ quiz meme .... I guess....

I think I'll go work on the baby's blanket now. I may pass out before 11:45.

And then some....

So I can't seem to extract my bum from the computer chair this morning (which is quickly turning into afternoon... 11:57.... 11:58...). Is my de-motivation directly connected to dreading doing things I *so* don't want to do today? Actually, there's not much I *do* want to do today. Take a shower, maybe if I feel like STANDING that long. Geez. A whole half hour seems a bit much. Take a nap... mmmm... dear, sweet sleep. How I love thee. Maybe starting a baby blanket, but I want to go get some pretty new yarn (not that I am lacking in yarn, dear gods that would be a sacralidge. But, I need MOoooOOore... maybe a birthday present to myself?). That sounds like a fun day to me. And pizza with wings. Mmmm.

I want pizza like it's my job right now. And I did end up eating some of the ambrosia salad for breakfast... because, you know, marshmallows and canned fruit in syrup and artificially-flavored strawberry whipped topping is a nutritious breakfast (oh yeah, and can't forget the shredded candied coconut). Good thing I bought extra supplies for that beast... I might have to throw them in the bowl and pretend like nothing happened. My kids had fruit and toast.. I'm not that terrible of a mother. However, we had a small meltdown because every time I'd ask Luke to say please, he'd flip his lid. It went like this for about twenty minutes...

Me: Apple.........?
Him: Mmm-hmm.... (Nodnodnod.)
Me: ...........please? (Pleading eyebrows included.)
Him: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

(Rinse and repeat.) I finally gave in. Sorry, Dr. Spock or whatever new person who never had kids but thinks they know how to train them... I'm not that dilligent. I peeled the apple and handed it over. (He said thank you, for what it's worth.) Now, I don't know where the core went, but either he ate it which... you know... probably won't kill him but WILL make for some interesting diaper material (hopefully for dad) later. Or I will find it three days from now because that's where the trail of ants will lead. It's like a fun surprise!

Ok I probably should go get dressed for SuperFunDay. It's probably not going to be so bad, I just feel too lazy to do anything. I hope there's good food at least. And a place to hide if I need to.

Happy Birfday to Me.

(Me, 22 years old today. Immediately after waking up, and before coffee. Baby, don't fear the Reaper. I promise I will attempt makeup today.)
So, today is my birthday. Nothing exciting is happening. My son peed on the floor after sitting on the potty for 1/2 hour this morning. Now he is dumping all 1,000 of his giant Legos on the floor. I do not care.

Today I am supposed to go to a party kind of thing for Tim's grandpa, because he's leaving to go home to Washington. So, I made star-shaped, tye-dyed cupcakes (The closest thing to a birthday cake I'm going to get. :P) and some ambrosia salad which Tim has informed me tastes like we should leave it home and pretend we forgot it so he can eat it all himself. I don't wanna taste it, for fear I'll eat the whole bowl and actually have to say that. It smells good, and it's a pretty pink color. Hooray for me. A domestic goddess, I am (not).

I am tired, tired. So what's new. We did not like the house, we'll keep looking... there's one that's big with a big back yard in town that we are going to look at. I just wanna MOVE. I cannot stand our neighbors for another second.

For my birthday, we got a new TV for our living room (actually for our bedroom when our old TV comes home from the repair shop), and I got a new glass tea set from my mom. I think I will use the TV today to play some video games. And then get ready to go to a party for a guy I don't really know at all. (Yep, again, on MY birthday. Whinewhinewhinepoutstompwhine. I wish I was still five. Just sometimes, though. Brenda always looks like she's having fun.)

I want to do something fun today... maybe there's fireworks or something somewhere for Memorial Day. I have to go check that out.

I've Been Tagged!

Well thanks Jen, I was looking for something to avert my attention from my pigsty for a little while... :D

7 Random Things About Me

1.) I've always wanted to be a teacher, but ironically, I am not up for the schooling. Some teacher I'd be, huh?

2.) I cannot wait until I have a house and the time to (learn how to) grow my own veggies, fruits, herbs, and flowers. It sounds so fulfilling.

3.) When I was a teenager, I wanted to live in a city. Now, I'm terrified of the city and want to live on a farm.

4.) I love Final Fantasy. I cannot get enough, and sometimes I don't finish games if I know they're almost over because I don't want them to end. (Now everyone knows what a dork I am.)

5.) I can name most songs in the first 15 seconds. Mostly when they were written between 1963 and 1995. However, I do not recognize ANY songs on the radio on new music stations. Yes, I am 22.

6.) I suck suck suck at baking. Really, I do. But I'm trying to improve. It's too much math for me. P.S., I never ever make my own pie crusts. There, I said it.

7.) My birthday is on Memorial Day this year. Everyone will be drinking but me. It's not like I'm normally a lush or anything, but damn could I go for a fricking beer right about now. Or a Sea Breeze. Or a SoCo and Cran. Or.. or.. or...

Nothing to say...

I haven't posted lately because I have nothing to talk about. I lead a boring, boring life.
Little boy has had a crazy-high fever the past two nights... I think I finally got it down to 102 before I felt comfortable putting him in bed and falling into my own bed, face-first. By the way, cold, wet washcloths when you have a fever of 104.8 and are a two year old boy? Make you SCREAM like someone's murdering you. Just so you know.
Brenda is not sick. Which is good. But now, since I said that she will be. Smart me. She is SO into super-heroes right now... Tim went over to his brother's house to get his big collection book of super-hero cards and she is just entranced with it. She watched the Ultimate Avengers before bed last night. No princesses for her right now! Actually, she switches on and off between them. She's a super-hero-princess. Crazy little girl. :)
Ok, who wants to come over and clean my house for me? I have no motivation. Probably because I'm sick and it's pretty bad... although I did do the dishes yesterday, so the big battle is over. And I only did them because we had NO silverware or pans left to eat/cook off of. Embarassing.
So, we're looking at a house on Saturday. Fingers crossed, no jinxing, but it's a 4 bedroom on a cul-de-sac with a fenced in back yard, the roof and carpets are brand-new, there's no butt-ugly wallpaper on the walls (from the pictures, anyways) and it's super-cheap for the size and kind of house it is. Shhh.
I am hungry... probably should go make breakfast before I faint or some crap like that. Off with the computer....

Sunshine day...

I woke up at around quarter to six this morning to the ohmigod, STENCH of hair dye. NOT good for a pregant woman to wake up to at 6 in the morning. *Ralph*. Tim dyed his hair yesterday, but he still had the conditioner which smells just like hair dye and oh man. So that was that, I am awake. I felt pretty good after that, though, got a little tidying done, made coffee, washed clothes, made breakfast... then started to feel icky again. I'm getting tired of this... tiredness. I almost always feel crappy in the daytime, now. Maybe I need iron. Add that to the list of crap I need to ask my doctor on Monday.
So, I got a new video game, and I can't play it. I don't know if it's because I can't concentrate on it because the television's all messed up (something's wrong with the colors, we need to get it fixed), or if it's because you pretty much NEED a keyboard to do anything, but it LOOKS like it would be fun if I could play it. Also, it's live, so you have to actually talk to people, which is a little intimidating to me (I am a dork).
Baby continues to kick. A lot. He kicks most when Tim is anywhere near my belly. Baby says, "Get away from my momma!" :) He's going to be a stinky-head. I can tell already.
It's all nice and sunny today. Maybe once the sun dries the grass off a little, I'll go make a clothesline somewhere outside and hang our laundry and let the kids run around and tire themselves out so I can take a nap. I love naps.

Randomness.

So I guess I should post... it's been a couple days.
Well, I've been feeling really crappy during the days, and good with lots of energy at night. This pregnancy is doing me in, I hope my doctor doesn't pull some "you're too young" crap when I talk to him about getting my tubes tied when I'm in delivering this boy. Dude, I have three. Trust me, if I ever get the hankering for another baby, I'll get a bitty bitty puppy. Seriously. I look forward to being 42 when my last kid turns 20 and still having enough energy to have a life. I think I'll talk to Doc at my next appointment (Monday).
I am feeling the baby kick a lot more lately. This makes me happy, because for some reason I seem to remember feeling it earlier with the other kids. I felt stuff with this one before, but the past two days it's been hard enough that you can feel it on the outside, and when I was laying down on my back Tim said he could see something bouncing around in there. How exciting! We were discussing names again, and we now like the names Delaney and Murphey (no, not Irish at all....). Also, I like Will, but he thinks it's too plain, I think. We'll see. Still 4 months to go!
Another side of the baby Rubik's cube.... I have been staring at fricking tandem and double strollers for like 4 days now and have no idea what I'm supposed to be looking for. Aggrevating. I asked Tim his opinion, he has none (no surprise). So I guess I just pick one, tell him the price, and we go get it? The problem is, the things go from like $100 to I saw one that was $800(!!!). Dude, I wouldn't pay $800 for a CAR at this point. In-Sanity. I just don't know. They all look massive. I guess I just gotta bite the bullet and actually go to the store and look. Ugh.
Ok, so on the Lucien Badman front... Mr. Sir went pee on his little potty yesterday! Yay! He was so happy and excited when he did it, too. I guess he just hates the big potty... understandable, it IS taller than he is, poor little midget. But eww, if I didn't have to clean out the little one, it'd be better. Whatever. If he'll potty train, that's fine. I do NOT want two kids in diapers.
Brenda had Kindy-garten "screening" yesterday. They took her away from me and put her in a room with other kids, while I filled out paperwork and waited. It was traumatizing (for me, she had fun). Lucien ran around and generally annoyed the other parents that were in the room. I let him. I guess I get a letter in the mail soon telling me how she did, but I am sure she was fine.... she told me they worked on colors and shapes, and stacking. The kid's been doing that since before SHE was potty-trained. I just don't want her to go to school. It's sad. :(
I guess I should start some sort of dinner tonight. Roast chicken sounds good, lots of leftovers to do with what I will.
Oh yeah, Happy Birthday, Mom. :)

Some pictures.

Just some pictures today because they make me happy, and I'm not feeling very happy today. I will go make dinner, maybe some milkshakes afterwards, play some video games, and laze about today. Will post tomorrow. Lots to say, no inclination to say it.

Is there a dentist in the house?!

There is something I've considered a lot recently, especially while in the throes of a dental attack at 3 AM, that most people would consider rediculous. Tooth pain hurts more than I EVER remember childbirth hurting. No, really. Maybe it's because I was drugged enough to not feel it, but for me, tooth pain tops any pain I've ever had, including the ever-dramatic teenage angst-fueled emotional pain.
Holy *bleep*. I seriously considered stealing my husband's car out of the driveway and driving myself to the ER about this damnable tooth last night, but I wasn't sure my bank account would cover the visit. Another all-nighter, this time NOT my son's fault (he slept all through the night; go figure). And the reason the rotten thing hasn't been dealt with? Well, that's because dentists think it's ok to charge people the equivalent to their rent up front or not treat them at all. (Yes, our healthcare system is fantastic, why do you ask?) No teaching clinics close enough for me to walk to, or I'd have had some eager young student work me up for $50 by now...
Something needs to be done. I think I should just bite the bullet, borrow money from someone, and have them yank this baby out. Or, do it myself with some whiskey and pliers. But that'll have to wait until after the baby's born. I might not live that long, at this rate. Grrrr.

Hope everyone's Mother's Day was good. Mine was nice, I made dinner for my mom and got a new badass crockpot. I'm going to try to either make meatloaf or a chicken dinner in it today. If I stay awake long enough to remember to put stuff in it. I have a couple hours yet.

Tim is home sick today. Mayhap I can get some stuff done. At least a shower.

Later, dudes.

Happy Impending Mother's Day.

Today my kids gave me a great Mother's Day present... I was allowed to take a shower all by myself, with minimal interruptions, until the hot water ran out! And there were no cartoons on! And the house is... kind of a disaster now, but it was a decent trade off, I think. I was allowed to wash my hair, wash my face, scrub down, and shave half a leg before Lucien came in and demanded to know who the hell I thought I was for taking a shower all by myself, anyways. And while I was shaving my legs, I looked and saw my feet. I was like, "Oh, hello feet... long time no see. Damn, you've both let yourselves go..." So I got out my rose stick and my nail file and clippers, and some blue iridescent nail polish, and struggled to give myself some sort of fake pedicure today, too. I must say, they look a lot better than they did, even though it was a difficult reach.

Right now the kids are coloring pictures and being quiet. I think it's cuz they're sick. No way they'd be this good if they were feeling ok. Oh well.

I have beans soaking for chili, and I'm going to make cornbread too for dinner tonight. I'm starting to get this frugal shopping/eating thing down pat. I bought enough groceries for about two weeks or more, and Tim even bought the kids a movie (Wonder Pets, Lucien's favorite. I don't think there's ever a day when one of the dumb songs isn't stuck in my head. Sigh.), and some bubble guns for outside, and I only spent $80 on groceries yesterday. I am proud of myself. I think I'm also going to can some salsa and some jelly today, because they're staples in our house and it's SO much cheaper for me to can them than buy them every week or so.

(I'm still only 21... really, I swear I am...)

Also, yesterday Timothy did the sweetest thing ever for me. He bought me white roses with some pretty berry-looking thing... anyways, a bouquet of flowers, and a card. He so doesn't do cards... I've never gotten one from him before and we've been together 3 years or so. I cried. And he had the kids give me a card, too. I cried again.

Then later, my stupid hormones made me start a fight about something stupid. Stupid. Sigh, I'm still irritated with myself about it. Even worse, I cried about it for like 45 minutes even after I knew I was wrong, which took like two seconds. I really hope he realizes I was just being dumb. I tried to explain but he basically told me to stop talking about it. So. I suck. Again. Boo to me.

Must... clean... house. Must... finish... Mom's... presents (and how is it fair that Mother's Day and her birthday are like, four days apart, anyways? Come on, now).

Insert Homer Drool Here.

In case anyone cared, I'm going to just say really quick that I have never, ever wanted an appliance more than I want this one right here. Holy crap, it's like the most wondrous cooking tool ever invented (and this one's pink, and $50 of proceeds go to breast cancer research!). Probably why it's like at least $350. Oh well. A girl can sit, stare, and drool, can't she?

Oh man, I can't even imagine the wondrous, fluffy, yummy bread I could make if only this tool were here to do the kneading for me. Did I mention how much I hate kneading?

Or pasta that doesn't take hours of hanging gooey strings of dough on coat hangers. Or ice cream. Or sausage. Or, or, or.....

Ohhhh, *BOY*.

So, the radiologist confirmed that what is swimming about in my uterus is "100% boy". Apparently he is not afraid of showing of his, um, boy-ness, either. Sounds about right.
So Brenda isn't thrilled, but she knew this could be coming. But, I told her, being the only girl has its advantages, too. Like being the one with your own room. And getting to do girl stuff with mom, alone. And.. um.. well, I think that's about it. I'm sure there's other things.. I never was the "only girl", just the "only one". So I'm not sure how that stuff works. I'm learning right along with her.
So now, I have no clue what this kid's name is. We'll probably decide the week before he's born... like we did with Lucien.
It's a nice day out, too bad mommy didn't get any sleep so we're going to waste the good part of the early afternoon sleeping. Oh well. But before that happens, I should make a plan to take with me to the food store to restock my cupboards and refridgerator in a timely and cheap fashion. And probably do some dishes. Blah.

The Neverending Grumpy.

Oh, my god. Third day on about 3 hours of sleep per night. My body is going on strike. I feel it happening. Lucien was up from 1:45 AM until 4:30? 5? I fell asleep before he did, I know that. No reason. Just felt like being a demon. Oh, the kid's sleeping NOW. He had a rough night.
Also, the ear drops that are now antibacterializing my bathroom sink? Yeah, I had like, one dose left, so I dropped it in my left ear. Now, instead of it being muffled, I can't hear ANYTHING. Maybe the kid was just trying to save my life, afterall. Although, most days I think being deaf wouldn't be so bad.... at least for a few hours.
This morning.... 5:30 AM ish. The alarm goes off for Tim to go to work. In my total unconsciousness (finally) I didn't think to roll over and turn it off, so he had to get up, walk all the way around the bed, and turn it off himself. He said to me, "Thanks for your help." Well, as I was thinking, "Thanks for YOUR help last night with your devil-spawn,", I rolled over to make room for him to climb back in bed, and whacked him in the face with my hand. :D I'm laughing now, but it was totally not on purpose and I feel really bad about it. Poor guy. However, karma will get you. :P I'm a bad woman.
Going to find out what the baby is today... if I can stay awake until 11. I'll do my best. I have a feeling that caffiene will be a big part of my diet today.

Oh, baby...

I'm excited about tomorrow's impending baby results. Brenda just told me that if it's a boy, she wants me to name it Arthur Sebastian. And if it's a girl, it's name will be D-Devil. Uhhhm, Hooookay then.

Personally, I think D-Devil is unisex. Yeah, we'll go with that. :D

The kid is quick, like lightning! >:(

My naughty little not-yet-two year old son just did a bad-man thing. I got ear drops for my ear infections, and was putting them in in the bathroom. As I was dropping them into the second ear, quick as a flash, he got up on the step-stool, grabbed the tiny and very, very full bottle, and promptly dumped it down the sink. Momma is NOT happy. There is maybe one more dose left in the bottle, and it's too late to call the doc for a new Rx, besides the fact that I already paid the stupid copay for the doc AND the 'script today, umm, $45 dollars I don't have, plus now I feel even more like an arse-hole than I did about ordering pizza because I didn't feel good enough to make dinner, because I'm going to have to pay for my perscription again.


This is a picture of the culprit after the dastardly deed was done. Does he look sorry to you? I didn't think so, either. Hieney-head.

Naptime!

Very stressful and tearful morning, for all three of us (Tim got to go to work. :P ). When momma's grumpy, everyone gets grumpy apparently. Well, actually, Brenda pretty much takes it all in stride, but Lucien... argh. He has been screaming/yelling/shouting/whining since about 7 this morning, and he finally went down for a nap about 20 minutes ago. Brenda decided to lay in her bed instead of mine today, who knows if she'll sleep, I'm surprised that she ever does anymore. She's going to kindergarten... hopefully Lucien will take naps til he goes to school, too, but I doubt it. He's too hyper for that. The only thing keeping him in bed now is that he's too short to get his chubby legs over the bars to climb out.
So, why am I even online, do you ask? Why doesn't mommy sleep, too? I don't have a freaking clue. I never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box.
So I guess I should either clean up or lay down. Baby says lay down. Momma says she can't even believe this sty. And yes, the mattress is STILL in the living room. It looks comfy.
I'm just not feelin' it, lately. Maybe after naptime.

Grey Area....

Tomorrow I get to find out what kind of baby I'm having for sure. I was told it "looks like a boy", but not that it *is* a boy. I thought we had names picked out, but Tim came home last night and vetoed the only boys name we had previously agreed upon. Apparently he asked someone at work and they said it was a girl's name. Boys are dumb. Anyways, the names were Kelsey James or MaryJane Rose. Now, I cannot for the life of me find a name I like, that no one in our families already have, and that sounds good with our last name. I hate this part. Why doesn't the kid just come out with a sticker that says, "Hello, my name is:_______"? SO much easier.

I feel like baking today. We don't have any snacks, so it sounds like it'll be cookies or oatmeal bars. I want to try bread again, but I just really suck at it. It always comes out like a large, heavy brick. I'm not a good baker. I can cook, but that's different... it's not so specific. Math + food shouldn't ever mix. Or maybe I just don't have the patience for kneading. It gets old after about an hour of squishing the dough.

They took me off of work for another two weeks, until I can see the "real" doctor. I'm supposed to go to physical therapy. I am just really getting sick of bouncing from doctor to NP to OB, all of them taking money and telling me absolutely nothing. I have 4, count them, 4 doctors appointments this month, just for me. How fricking annoying. Plus, now I'm expected to go to PT. Yeah, cuz kids will sit still for THAT. I'll see what I can do, but I'm not promising anything.

I woke up at stupid 5 in the morning, again. Somebody, please come get my kids so I can take a nap! You can bring them back in, oh, say, 18 years..... look, they're cute! Sometimes I think I'm just chronically grumpy.

Flight of ideas is a symptom of SOMETHING.....

Right now I feel like yuck. I am sick. Headcolds are not fun when it's 80 degrees out. Also, I'm getting awfully sick of having a hard time walking. And what's wrong with me? Oh, my hips are uneven. I know, that sounds really stupid. And not like it should be excruciating. But it is, sometimes, and it ALWAYS hurts, and I'm tired of a.) hurting, b.) sounding like a whiner because of it. I wanted so bad to go to the farmer's market today, but it's up a bigass hill, and there's no way I would've made it without crying. Crying in public is just not my thing. The doctors say there's nothing they can do except take me off of work (because babies don't like medicine or chiropractors, which I'm kinda scared of anyways), which just makes me feel guilty because now we're poor and it's my fault. Which is why I wanted to go to the farmer's market. We need veggies, and they're pretty darned expensive at the dumb grocery store. Plus, I like the atmosphere.
I feel like I need to go do something productive, but like I said, I don't feel good so I'm lazy. I dragged the old mattress out into the living room because it was too hot to sleep in our room today, and the kids are having a "sleep over" on it now. I know the dishes need to be done before I collapse on the mattress. I don't WANNA. I wanna drink tea and eat popcorn and watch the Wizard of Oz with my babies. Or my monsters, as they're acting right now. Who are these small people, anyways, and why do they keep asking me for stuff and calling me "mommy"? I'm still 21, right?
I think I might need to get a life. But it sounds like a lot of work. Right now, my kids are fighting over about 10 pieces of giant Lego. There are 200 pieces in a big box in the bedroom. It just makes no sense at all.
I wanna sleep. Deep, uninterrupted sleep. For at least 8 hours. And wake up refreshed, not still tired for no reason. Is that really too much to ask?
I think I'm going to go wash dishes, then make some popcorn. And laze. Why are my kids still up, anyways?

A blog? For me?!

So, I'm starting one. I never really thought I had much to say, but I figure what I'm lacking in words, I can make up for in pictures of my children. I'm sure they're cute enough to have their own webpage. See?

(Of couse, my son's hair is nearly non-existent now because his father thought it was a good idea to cut his hair into a mohawk while I was at work. Needless to say, I'm the one that usually takes him out in public, not him, and since I'm the one getting dirty looks {and I had quite a few dirty looks in my time because of my own mohawk... I'd rather wait a few years to get dirty looks about my kids...}, I asked him very nicely to remove the mohawk. So there's just a little fuzz growing back. And my husband is lucky it's growing back red.)

Anyways, I am starting this blog because I am sick (thanks, mom-in-law) and am too lazy to clean my house, but am bored with watching Elmo (I know, how could that be possible?!), so I figured I'd give it a shot. I'm not sure if anyone will be interested in my mind-jumble, but whatever. It's free. :)